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newt
as pissed as a fart
slang Very intoxicated. Primarily heard in UK, Australia. When I got to the pub, you were as pissed as a fart. Do you remember anything that happened last night?
as pissed as a fart
(British & Australian very informal!) also as pissed as a newt (British very informal!) very drunk Peter came home from the pub pissed as a fart.
newt
n. a stupid person; a dull and uninteresting person. Don’t act like such a newt.