wisecracker
One who makes glib, facetious, and/or sardonic remarks. Tony is such a wisecracker; he always has some remark lined up.
holy crap on a cracker
A mildly indecent exclamation of surprise, shock, or astonishment. (An emphatic form of "holy crap.") Holy crap on a cracker, the bill for that dinner is nearly $200! We won the lottery? Holy crap on a cracker, that's amazing news!